FIND YOUR PURPOSE

How to Open Yourself to Your Life's Purpose
O, The Oprah Magazine | October 02, 2009

In A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle writes that to awaken to your life's purpose, you have be ready for a change in the state of your consciousness. But how do you know when that time comes? And where can you even begin?

The one big question most of us ask ourselves is "What should I do with my life?" For most people, it's very difficult to answer. Use these simple suggestions from people who have successfully answered this question and are now living the lives of their dreams. Be inspired to pursue your dreams and discover the impact you are meant to have on the world!


1. Listen to your inner voice. It takes practice to hear your true desires. Your passion will often come as a whisper or serendipitous event that reminds you of what's important and what makes you happy.

This is similar to what is meant by trusting your gut or listening to your intuition.Award-winning actress Sissy Spacek has attributed her success to an experience she had as a young girl, attending a student performance at a neighboring school. Upon seeing a group of girls dancing on the stage, twirling batons and marching in line, Sissy thought to herself, "I could do that."

"Everyone has an inner voice; you just have to listen to it and trust it in order to be led by it," Sissy says. "I did that, and it gave me the ability to live a life that's true to who I am and what I really wanted."

Can you recognize what makes you happy?

2. Recognize crisis. Does your job feel like a grind? Are you spending your free time on something you love? Take an opportunity to appraise your happiness. One of the keys to living a purposeful life is recognizing when you are unfulfilled.

Debrena Jackson Gandy, an author and success coach, recommends women ask themselves one question: What brings you joy? Often, participants at her lectures are unable to find the answer because the joy has been displaced by work, family and day-to-day demands. Debrena recommends that people set aside a half hour to write out at least three things that have brought them joy, and be specific. After a few days, she challenges people to ask themselves what is keeping them from joy and to identify ways to invest in that happiness and make small but immediate changes.

3. Dwell in possibilities. Your passions could lead you in a lot of different directions to find fulfillment. Explore your life and unearth of the things that bring you joy.

To begin, life coach Cheryl Richardson advises you to take better care of yourself. Cheryl suggests nurturing your body and mind with exercise, meditation and eating well. Next, be conscious when something excites you or frustrates you. For example, if you read a story in the newspaper that inspires you, take note of it! That story might lead you to your passion.

Cheryl recommends answering a series of questions:

* What interest, passion or desire are you most afraid of admitting to yourself and others?
* What do you love about yourself?
* Who do you know that's doing something you'd like to do? Describe yourself doing it.
* How could you make the world a better place for yourself and others?
* What's stopping you from moving forward with exploring your passion?


Trust yourself to make the right decisions

4. Tune out the voice of the world. Make the strongest voice in your life your own. Finding your purpose could mean going against the advice of close friends and family. Take a leap of faith and trust in your dreams.

Martha Beck calls this the "trust-o-meter," the voice inside of you that has been with you since you were born but is programmed by outside influences. If your own trust-o-meter isn't working as it should, Martha advises taking The Trust Test to check if you trust the voice inside you.

5. Decide what kind of person you want to be. Rather than concentrating on what you want to do, think in terms of what kind of person you want to be. Let that guide your choices.

"Life isn't just about what you can have; it's about what you have to give," Oprah says. "What kind of person do you want to be?"

Living with integrity is a good start. Cheryl Richardson suggests making an Absolute Integrity List, which includes making three promises to yourself to restore your integrity. Next, construct your own vision statement to clarify what's most important to you and the person you most want to become. The third step is to ask yourself in which aspects of your life you could be more truthful.

Find a profession you love!

6. Bring your heart to your work. It takes passion and courage to find a profession that you love. Spending the time to discover that job is time well spent—it could make all the difference in your life!

If you don't think you're in the job you were born to do, there's no time like the present. Read eight true stories from women who switched careers midstream and found their wildest dreams realized. Plus, Tamara Monosoff, author of Secrets of Millionaire Moms, shares three, one-page business plans to help bring your big ideas to life.

Even if you're stymied about where to start, there's still hope! Master career consultant Marcus Buckingham has created a printable worksheet for you to use to identify your strengths PDF and help you find meaning in your work.

7. Trust transformation. Hard times are a natural part of life. Don't be afraid to change because of your experiences. Instead, let them shape and steer your course.

Hardship goes hand in hand with tough times. Instead of ignoring difficult times, embrace them. Poet Nikki Giovanni tells the story of having been pulled over by a state trooper after having gotten herself and a friend lost on the drive to Princeton, New Jersey. She was certain she would be ticketed, but the trooper instead gave her directions and sent the two women on their way. "I realized that when the trooper looked into the car, he didn't see what we thought he saw—two hip, young women going someplace," Nikki says. "He saw his grandmother. It was a depressing moment."

Nikki says that too many people resist change, which never lets them enjoy who they are.

"Embrace the change, no matter what it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it," she says. "You still bring to bear all your prior experience, but you're riding on another level. It's completely liberating."

Live without regret

8. Have no regrets. According to the experts, it's easy to regret the time you've spent being unhappy or unfulfilled. Realize that during that time you developed the skills you need to succeed!

Martha Beck has six steps you can take to live without regret. They include letting go, learning to compartmentalize certain feelings and reclaiming your dreams. As important as these steps are, Martha suggests thinking of regret as a tool, rather than an uncomfortable reminder of past mistakes.

"If you've grieved your losses, reclaimed your dreams and articulated your anger, regret will have made you the right kind of tough-and-tender: dauntless of spirit, soft of heart, convinced by experience that nothing based on fear—but everything based on love—is worth doing," she says. "Living this way doesn't guarantee an easy life; in fact, it will probably take you on a wondrously wild ride. But I promise, you won't regret it."

9. Take the first step. Destiny can't help you until you are willing to step out of your comfort zone. Get prepared to make changes in your life...and start making them!

It takes courage to even think about changing your life, much less to put that plan into action. Dr. Robert Holden has dedicated his life to studying the pursuit of happiness. He says most people struggle to overcome "destination addiction," which he defines as not living in the moment.

Try taking Dr. Holden's Happiness Test for suggestions on where to make the first step in your life.

Exercise patience

10. Be patient. Finding your life's purpose won't happen overnight. In every life, there's a fast road and a slow road. Most of us take the slow road! Keep your commitment and take small steps to make it happen.

Writer Amy Gross offers four ways to become a more pateint person:

1. First thing: Just stop. Catch the mind ranting that you shouldn't be in this situation&8212;because you are. Give up the fight. You've lost the battle, but not the war.

2. Settle into the moment. You might feel your body ease down, yielding to gravity (wise move). Your shoulders and belly relax, your jaw too.

3. Go into your body with your mind's eye and find our how you know you're impatient. Are you tight, tense, breathing shallowly, clenching, jiggling? Where exactly? Focus on those sensations as closely as you can. Touch them with your mind.

4. See if you can open any tightness, breathe into any clenching. With a really ornery knot, give up trying to fix it and see if you can welcome it, make room for it.

Buddhist nun Pema Chódrón talks to Oprah about dealing with difficult feelings and living in them moment

MY THOUGHTS

Be quiet. Spend some time alone. You cannot hear your inner voice when there are too many things going on.

An Ocean Voyage Called Life

An Ocean Voyage Called Life
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, Lifescript Personal Coach
Published December 29, 2010

Life is a lot like an ocean voyage. We all have a journey ahead of us as we enter this world, but the journey called "Life" is different for everyone. When all is said and done, the twists and turns of your life are intimately tied to the actions you take and decisions you make. In a sense, we each get to choose the kind of journey we take. And we all have storms to endure that test our skills and threaten to sink our ships. Some of you find that your ships capsize easily during emotional storms. Others find a way to stay on board and keep their boats afloat no matter what challenges the seas of life present. It’s true that some seem to encounter more storms than others, but none of us can escape these storms entirely.

Sometimes these storms are predicted and you have time to prepare. For example, when you’ve been given notice that your job will be eliminated. However, other times these storms arise suddenly, like with accidents and illness. Nevertheless, the key to surviving these storms and maintaining your bearings is to keep a level head. Regardless of how often you find yourself in one of these battles, how you respond will determine the extent of the damage you incur. So the next time you feel the choppy waters of life churning, hunker down and persevere! These are more than just mere storms; they are also opportunities for you to gather strength, hone your battle skills and create character!

Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com

MY THOUGHTS

well put. some may think nothing is new in this article. what caught my attention is the phrase "intimately tied" to our actions and decisions. it's a cop out to think that what happens to us is fate. that way we don't need to take responsibility for our actions. but God gave us the wisdom to make choices, to decide on which path to take. it's not God's intention for us to simply wait for His plans to be realized. His intention is for us to journey with Him and be the person He wants us to be. how long and how stormy the journey would be depends on how closely we journey with him. the "straight path" is truly the "path less chosen". it's easier to be crooked. there are no rules. no standards. you feel free. and yet it's the crookedness of life that makes us prisoners. and the true freedom we want can only be reached if we journey through the "straight" path. for sure there will be "choppy waters" here and there. but remember, with God you never journey on your own. you are the captain of your own ship. but you use God's map. even if you get lost. you will be found.

Learning from our Failures

A Lesson Learned
Daily Inspiration
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D, Lifescript Personal Coach
Published December 27, 2010

I said something to a friend that seemed to jump out of my mouth without any conscious thought. He was telling me about his failure on a project he was working on, and said that he learned a lot in the process, but it turned out to be a big waste of his time. My response: “A lesson learned is never time wasted.”

That phrase is also applicable to you. Often, when people come up short of reaching their goal, they feel like a failure. In my opinion, nothing could be further from the truth, particularly if you’ve learned something important along the way. When you find yourself feeling disappointed or emotionally devastated because you didn’t reach a targeted goal, don’t just feel the pain and disappointment from it… learn from it! Failure is often the precursor of success, and as I told my friend, a lesson learned is never time wasted.

Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
www.innerdiet.com

MY THOUGHTS

that could be the hardest part about failing. sometimes we avoid the lessons. because learning means changing. it means going against your grain. it means doing something you've never done before. we don't want to learn because it's so much easier to be "just the way we are".

managing with your inner voice

Scruples Are A Good Thing
Listening to Your Inner Voice
By F. John Reh, About.com Guide

I believe most people are good and honest. I believe that most managers act in ways that are beneficial for their employers and their employees. I do not believe that most of us are driven to take from others regardless of the cost. Certainly we have seen enough proof recently that there are unscrupulous people running businesses, but most managers are honest, scrupulous people.
Having scruples, or being scrupulous, means sometimes having doubts about doing something because it might not be right, because it might go against your principles. We all have an inner voice telling us when something we are considering isn't right. We might not always listen to it, but it is always there. As a manager, one of the best things you can do is to listen to your inner voice. If something isn't right, if your scruples kick in, if your inner voice tells you not to do it - listen. There is a reason for it.

Do you want your fifteen minutes of fame because of something you did well or are you willing to settle for fifteen minutes of infamy for having lied, cheated, or stolen?

The Voice Inside You
Sure, it can be tempting to take the easy way out, to tell a small lie because no one will be able to prove you lied, to claim credit for someone else's work because they work for you. Yet you will always know that is the wrong choice. Your inner voice will tell you.
Some people are better at ignoring their inner voice than others. They think they can talk loud enough, live fast enough, that they can drown out their inner voice. They can't. It's always there. So is yours.

The Upside
When you have scruples, when you listen to your inner voice, life is easier.
•You never have to remember your story
If you always tell the truth, you don't have to worry about what you told who.
•You are more effective
When you know you are doing the right thing, it is easier for you to get behind it and push to make it a success.
•You sleep better
When your inner voice isn't nagging you, you sleep more soundly. You aren't fighting with yourself.
The Downside
If you decide to ignore your inner voice, there will be consequences. They may not be obvious or immediate, but they will come.
•You will be found out
Regardless of how clever you are, or how practiced a liar you become, you will slip up. Someone will catch you in your lie.
•You will be less effective
You will spend so much time and energy covering your tracks that you will get less done.
•You won't like yourself very much
Even if no one else knows, you will know.
Manage this issue
The easiest course of action for any manager, the best course, the most effective, is to follow your inner voice. If something seems wrong, don't do it. If you use that moral compass as your guide, you will be a better manager and you will like yourself more. Others will sense it too, and you will be a better manager.

MY THOUGHTS

being scrupulous! listening to that voice that only you can hear. the voice inside that makes you uncomfortable. only if you know what's right and what's wrong. coz if you don't, there won't be an inner voice. and you won;t know until it's too late.